Friday 12 February 2010


New Friday 13th Director fired after controversial 'Jason speaks' debacle!

The director of the next Friday the 13th installment has been fired after just one day on the job! The new director, David Kellogg, was announced just days ago on horror website 'BloodyBullshit.com' and said he was keen to do something special for the 13th appearance of Jason. But apparently execs weren't too enamoured with his idea of allowing Jason to speak for the first time EVER in a Friday 13th flick. But it wasn't the idea of a talking Voorhees that had the studios sweating, it was Kellogs choice to voice the legendary backwoods serial killer - Rosie Perez!
"I knew I had to pull all the stops out for F13 part 13" explains Kellog from his ranch just outside of Cardiff, Wales "and I figured having Jason speak in his mother's voice would just about blow the fan's minds. I remember as a youngster watching Halloween for the first time I literally soiled myself when we saw Norman speaking in his grandmothers voice! I mean, if it works for Coppola why not for me?" Kellog then went on to demonstrate he knew just as much about human biology as he did about horror movies "I mean, yes Jason's creepy but we all know his Schtick by now - Stripy sweater, cannibal, rides a pony- how can we give the audience something new, something fresh? Something that will make them explode with excitement? I mean literally explode, with bits of them flying around the theatre and everything?! And that can happen, it happened with The Jazz Singer when Jolson spoke for the first time, people just spontaneously combusted! Fact!! So how do you bring that level of excitement to a modern audience with their fancy new gimmicks like '3D' and 'Full Color'? Three words my friend- Rosie Perez!"

Perez had wanted to work with Kellogg since she first saw what many critics consider his opus, the 1991 classic 'Cool as Ice'. "Oh yeah" continues Perez, star of such powerful movies as 'Do The Right Thing', 'Fearless' and 'It could Happen To You', "The minute David approached me I was on board 110%. I mean Jason's a shapeshifter, why couldn't he have a woman's voice. He was a woman for most of the first movie, and that part in A New Beginning when his face splits open and we see a new face growing inside! Oh...my...GOD! Classic stuff."

Unfortunately it was never to be and Kellogg was asked to leave the project soon after announcing his plans. However Platinum Dunes know a creative genius when they see one and have asked Kellog to direct the upcoming remake of their upcoming thriller 'Fiasco Heights', hoping they can get his version in cinemas before the originals 2011 release date.

As for the next installment of Friday the 13th, new director Charles Kanganis has revealed he would like to see the series return to it's TV show roots and make a film about a haunted antique shop. No word yet on Perez's involvement.

No comments: